Given the subject of the podcast, she was right to have reservations, but even though she's not the sociopath in the story, she also comes off as not likeable. Your confusion and brain fog could very well be the result of cognitive dissonance caused by your brain attempting to sort out two opposing realities. What I didnt know was even with everything I was feeling, I was still a little numb, and safely so. Same to you, other quiet ones. The Something Was Wrong podcast meetup/live recording last week and although we had no idea what to expect, it was incredible. He actually laughed, shaking his head! This episode comes out for free on Thursday, March 9th 2023. He sees farther than we do. Not everyone fit this mold, but highschool me received it this way.) If I was upset, hed wind up saying, maybe I did ___ to you [yet to be proven], but YOU did ____, ____, and ____ to ME!. More and more, constant intake. I definitely was emotional and thankful, but they still talk about the grand scale of his reaction and how uncomfortable it made everyone. It says, Youre safe here. I dont want to get in the way of anything. I begged him to stay. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Seeing the abuse I endured last year so clearly now stirs a passion in me to stop it from happening to others. At this point, Im ready to use my writing to shed light, validate, and set free. Yes! Hours later when Id suggest we cook at home to save money, he would insist we eat dinner at the most expensive sushi restaurant in Sacramento. Despite many strange circumstances in Joes personal life, it was the best relationship Kenzie had ever hadBut when her loved ones began to suspect Joe wasnt at all who he said he was, they came together to uncover his secrets and save their friend just in the nick of time. This is often why I believe He allows hardship- not that He is the direct cause of bad or difficult times, but His nearness is undeniably different when were in pain and we need Him. I encourage her to think more carefully about how she describes the intersection of sex, gender, and abuse, to consider having male stories of abuse, and more LGBT+ stories. Beautiful day. When my story is released to the public, in all its true-crimey-ness, Im thrilled to know that it will ultimately point to the miracle He did in rescuing me. I had been slowly and systematically brainwashed over several months to question my reality and believe I was a piece of work, so there was a lot of repair that needed to happen. The more I piece together, the more freedom and healing comes. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. He very frequently mentioned his brothers position of church eldership. @Ramonaslefteye. There were certain daily routines he started from the beginning that he never wavered on, even near the end. Just when I thought Id pulled everything I could from a single passage, shed tell me I was cutting a note short and to let it breathe. r/podcasts: a subreddit to discover, discuss, and review podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. It made me realize my identity as a woman needed restoration, not correction or managing. John and Staci talked about the world-changing power of feminine beauty, and how it reflects the heart of God in a way masculine strength simply cannot. Until youve been gaslit, its extremely hard to understand. Ive seen it reap destruction and keep people captive from chasing their potential. There used to be a grating feeling in my gut that I was destined to attend womens luncheons and exchange flower pots until a young single pastor arrived and gave me my purpose. For you shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing. I was just over here trying to plan a wedding in 3 months determined to do it with a fraction of a normal budget. The program is hosted, written, and produced by Tiffany Reese. The excitement quickly faded when unexpected flashbacks accompanied the unboxing of last winters clothes, and with each cooler day, I started digging my heels into the ground to slow down the deja vus invading at random times. So how quickly did I choose other things once church was canceled? Surely if hed written those letters he wouldnt be sloppy enough to leave it open on a laptop hed be letting me use? Best Podcasts. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. When you decide to publish (or share your story in any public way), what was once personal and private becomes open for discussion. Hot Podcasts. You have all these moving parts literally every digit is moving but dont ever allow fingers 2 and 5 to physically lift from the keys while playing because those notes are tied. (You will get caught.) Its easy! Hot, fresh fury colored my entire day in a way I couldnt shake as easily before. Claim and edit this page to your liking. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. Found her IG. When I regained control and came out, he looked at me like I was crazy. No bruises to show for their huge act of leaving and tearing their family apart. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Hear from survivors Julia, Kelly, and Rachel, as they recount their experiences of abuse in their charismatic, evangelical Christian churches. I've been lucky enough to design experiences, lead . Listen on Apple Podcasts Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher The more conversations Im having with people in similar situations, the more amazed I am by their resiliency and strength. He responds. Or we feel we need someone. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Pleaded for him to give it some time. ! instead of Oh Happy Day or something. I am a multi-disciplinary maker of beautifully useful things that enrich lives. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Only when that phrase appears on page 3. One moment his extended family was super close in a way I could never understand. In the next, it wasnt worth visiting them because they were going to kick the bucket soon. Those that lacked depth or true relationship with God are lost and floundering. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was. Something Was Wrong A weekly True Crime, Society and Culture podcast featuring Tiffany Reese 38 people rated this podcast About Insights Pro 180 25 1 17 RATING all john.krotzer May 15th, 2022 3 Soundslikemog May 8th, 2021 3 wastefreesteffi Apr 9th, 2021 1 Load More. Genuinely curious), especially in light of his critical comments on alcohol. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . (Anyone else get phrases or words rather than songs stuck in their heads?) Now I have on record that as he calmly gazed into my eyes and held my hand across the candlelit table, resolving to love me well while navigating these learning opportunities for me, my churning stomach and racing heart were right. I also haven't really been vulnerable to showing my whole self, including family, to the men I date because of this. For various reasons, we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams. (I made brave choices while crying in the corner of a kitchen floor; it didnt paint a sexy portrait of bravery.) I literally came on here looking for someone else to validate my feelings on this - thank you! I remember my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I thought a piece could possibly require from a pianists hands and brain. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. The night we dropped the L bomb and said we loved each other, we didnt technically say it. When I saw that print in the store, someone with me tried to shoot it down the second I reached out to touch and look at it. When we were Voxing in the car and you were with your roommate, I could hear the happiness in your voice. Pretty dang quickly. A gaslightingvictim is fed just enough truth to make them more accepting of a lie, like hiding a dogs medication in a treat. Bravery is a choice of action regardless of fear being present. I love scenes in movies that enter the main characters point of view and suddenly that church choir is looking directly at them, pigeoned there in the pews, belting WRITE THE THIIIIIIINGS! When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. (Opus. I enjoyed my life and MYSELF when this tall man dressed in a red suit holding a pitchfork showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to lose it and see myself as worthless. Its not gonna just go away.). (Many of which Im still figuring out a year later.) When I play it, I cant help but get lost in the stark contrasts of who I was during those hundreds of hours spent learning and refining it, and who I am now Mentally wandering through big, landmark memories of discovery, adventure, victories, and fears. I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. Dick is an abuser -- but also isn't Sara's family dynamic a bit intense? That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? Season 9 of Something Was Wrong features the story of two survivors, Danielle and Kenji, who were brought together by traumatic life circumstances to solve a shared mystery - who the f*ck is Ardie? Aside from writing, music, Frenchie videos and seeing the world, I also love learning about how to care for my health naturally. And what is it really like to be doxxed and harassed online to the point the FBI has to get involved? This scenario doubles as an example of gaslighting: He was folding clothes by my bed one evening and said, Well Id never share a secret with you. I paused what I was doing and looked up, surprised, wondering where he was going with this. Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. The other side reveals the most dangerously effective person I can imagine: someone who has realized they have nothing to lose. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. So.What Else? Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! 1. This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. It has nothing to do with exposing him as a person, but everything to do with re-constructing my own sense of reality, up from down, right from wrong. Update. He was extremely generous with his resources and compliments. It wont always be super serious around here. He is light in the darkness. Charts. Sociopathy tends to be characterized by a lack of conscience and ability to form many true emotional bonds, but psychopathy means zero conscience or personal bonds. I must have looked nuts, laughing and assuring him Id never been better while he tilted his head and looked at me, asking if I was ok. Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts! Y'all are insane. I know His timing is perfect but Ifeel irritated. That dude wouldn't still be breathing if it was my daughter. It preys on their loves, their treasured secrets, by celebrating them. The more examples he gave, the more memories came back. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free on Amazon Music included with Prime. What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? As Slyvias symptoms worsen, so do Tees suspicions that Sylvia is hiding something. This makes so much sense to me. It is out of those days that our roots are deepened in their search for water. I stand by what I said about not changing a thing. I cleared up their confusion while distinctly noticing awkward tension and his lack of comment. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Shop apparel, accessories, and more! For years, my MO has been to sit back and wait before acting. New episodes come out every Monday for free, with 1-week early access when you join Amazon Music or 1-week early and ad-free for Wondery+ subscribers Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. While I see major positioning and personal growth happening, and how God rescued me from an incredibly dangerous situation, Ive felt forced to wait, having lost a life I loved through no fault of my own. We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. Toxic relationship recovery stories, convos, + whatever else we want to hash out. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. The vileness of words spoken in the final couple of months, contrasted with the soft, loving words that originally sucked me in made me nauseated. or to justify a divorce to their church. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. He always meets me. I have a hard time separating my ideas of others dreams for me vs. my dreams for myself. This is my favorite podcast. I know God literally commands us to be at peace and find joy even in terrible events; I just couldnt help but feel like joy would be a dismissal of the travesties, the economic and political devastation, worldwide deception, division and all-out spiritual war happening. Better to go unnoticed than not measure up. A classic N doesnt want sympathy because they view themselves as above it. Hed give me a hug or kiss, then playfully push me away like he was discarding me and look back like he expected me to come back for more. I could hold conversations, but knew something was broken and my mind was doing its survival thing by blocking out and shelving trauma. We belong to Him. [Alice + John + Naomi] You Wouldn't Believe It. Hear their newest album, Wonder Under via iTunes. It seems easier in the moment, but at what hidden costs? Narcissism 101, my friends. Tee is happy to help out her close friend and coworker, Slyvia, when she becomes sick. I just listened and I want to know too. Or when were fired up and desperate for something, and come running to Him full of big emotions. As believers, we have the power of Christ within us and when we are rooted, standing firm in our identity, it is a force that can withstand anything. People will have opinions on your storyand you might not like all of those opinions. Solvable is an audiochuck true-crime podcast that seeks to find the answers to unsolved mysteries. I was struck by the simplicity of that simple thought and how profoundly it changed my perspective. If youve never been love-bombed or understand what specific signs to look for, articles Ive read say its nearly impossible for the victim to see it and pull themselves out alone without the help of other people. Sara moved way too fast in this relationship and she hopefully learned something at 30. and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. I havent always written about heavy topics like abuse recovery, but after coming within 8 days of marrying a sociopath, my day-to-day thoughts and life took a massive turn. If we didnt hear that message at crucial times from a parent or similar figure, well seek it elsewhere. Analyzing every response, I got very quiet and in my head. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. Internet armchair experts can put their thumbs to work all day long declaring the red flags I should have seen right away. As all of this was hot and fresh, my godmother sat me down and formally requested that I read a book called Captivating by John & Staci Eldredge. When Id do it back to him (to subconsciously see how he liked it), hed pout and give me the silent treatment for a while. Itll never fit. You know how you can buy a car you never knew existed, and suddenly you notice them everywhere? The other day, a line from one of Steffany Gretzingers songs was floating around in my head all day. . https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Show Something Was Wrong, Ep [Alice + John + Naomi] The Wheels Fall Off - 23 Feb 2023 Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. I believe the story from The Year that is No More is not my own. I want my friends to feel safe. (Do you feel the spiritual side of it? We support artists from around the world, who create works speaking to inclusion, feminism, equality, wellness, and other important social issues to both promote diversity in media & spread ideas that encourage openness. May 1, 2021 3:47pm. I get being close with your family, but man goodness, cut the cord already. Your body is exhausting itself, constantly on edge/in fight-or-flight, trying to figure out your footing and what is up vs. down. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. He was so soft. He is extremely active on social media, especially Twitter, and he would fly into picking fights and arguments that he would gleefully show me, especially around Christian topics. He looked at me for a moment, then a soft expression came over his face as he said, Me too.. A cornered narcissist will spin you up in so many words that youll forget the origin of the conversation, forget your own point, and somehow end up at fault for something you still dont understand. Or we tell ourselves its the best well get. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. (God forbid should observers figure out I have no idea what the hell Im doing.). Sorry not sorry, youre rigur, Just finished episode 4. At that moment this thought/impression entered my mind: If you could see as I do. I never had to obtain the "approval" of my sister -- it's just a lot of input for this poor woman and a lot to satisfy. I still believed some literal lies told that needed time to unravel to see everything clearly, even after finding out they were lies. You will be inundated with why I love this company and my job. Follow Sara Lewis on Instagram@SpaceandPurposeCheck out Saras Blogspaceandpurpose.comSomething Was Wrong Podcast, featuring Saras story. Time together was marked by trying to keep things positive and having some damn fun for once.. Its fine! When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. Now is not the time to wait for one to reveal itself- you probably know exactly what it is, and that surely not. This is not a place to promote your podcast. Its the only explanation, and the overarching joy in my freedom is a testimony to what He wants for all of us in a world full of stories like mine. I encourage you to find even the smallest, most immediate platform you have to tell your story and use your voice. Him. Welcome to a spiritual war. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, . The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. The weirdness would wear off and wed have a blast. One thing at the forefront of my thoughts right now is the fear I know a lot of women around me are facing, and the choices they are making in the midst of it. But I thought this was it I think, and try to control my reaction and feel guilty for expressing my disappointment to the Lord. More and more of us are waking up at our own pace, shaking off the itll go back to normal soon complacency that gives us permission to coast through times of unrest and wait it out.. Once we were alone in my room I asked what was going on. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as The Bubble. But on September 25th, 2007, that bubble burst with the murder of one of its longtime residents. like seriously awful. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. The police have you surrounded. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Used fake people to pressure a woman to marry him? Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Thats all, folks! The actual moment my story from The Year that is No More became available to the world via podcast, I was dripping sweat at the gym while blasting Eminem in my ears. Our hearts. Real-Time. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. *Content warning: Substance Use Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, workplace abuse. My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. 2. Season 7. Last night my mind was jam-packed with the horrific events I cant stop reading about. Sara and Tiffany answer listener questions and reflect back on the season thus far. My experience just has a little Dateline flair. Psalm 37 has been brought to my attention more than once its not a gentle read. Stress is never an excuse for insults and back-handed compliments- those should be followed with a genuine apology. I realize thats not fair to them- it shows a lack of respect for their ability to make room for me in their lives and its not fair to anyone who needs the encouragement. Thats whats happening. Sara discusses the discovery of Dick's ex girlfriends and how answers help the healing process. For some reason this of all things pierced my heart. Suddenly his explanation changed from claiming he hadnt said it, to having said it but Id completely misread the whole thing. Your preferences, feelings, quirks, looks, secrets, weaknesses, strengths they all matter. Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. I was straightforward and told him exactly what I wrote at the beginning of this paragraph so that he could understand why his words hurt me so badly. This discounts and erases the experiences of male victims of all ages, as well as female victims who have been abused by other females and males who have been abused by males. What will we attempt when we no longer see our lack, but His potential? I'm on episode 10 and have enjoyed it but also feel like maybe Sara is a littleextra lol. That type of restionship is one that I would run from solely because of her family. With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to. Sara discovers Dick is in a new relationship. Agreed. Its a new effort to come to the Lord and let Him be something new to me: the place I bring my injustices and frustration. When we receive the gift of what Jesus did for us,He isnt looking at our shortcomings, so why should we? If we see what He does: Him in us? add a review Rate Podcast Play Apps List Bookmark Share Contact This Podcast Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Publishers. Sara and her family might be a bit "extra," but it sounds like some of y'all have never dated women. Hatred is a powerful word I refuse to carry with me, but last Saturday morning as I was taking screenshots for my story, new disgust churned in my stomach. I was constantly confused by inconsistency. If I got distracted and checked out from making a daily connection with Him, I always knew I had Sunday to reset and re-center myself. This episode comes out for free on Thursday December 22nd 2022. Sara discovers something terrifying about her Fiance. Ok thats wild fast! He also called people out and shocked a culture by giving women a voice. After the gym, I went to bed with the Etude on repeat. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. Is that person you met online really telling the truth? Otherwise it just reveals a lack of character.). Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. Yes, were imperfect and still sinning because we live in a conflicted world, but we are no longer slaves to it. For some reason, he threw on a fake New Jersey accent and waved his hand flippantly as he said, Yeah! I opened my Bible and was just kinda flitting through Isaiah with these but where is the joy, God? thoughts, and my eyeballs landed on Isaiah 55:12. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. First, however, I had to allow Him to pick up the pieces of a shattered sense of self, and reconstruct my concept of what I have to contribute to the world around me. A good Father does not take away to leave a permanent void. If its a hectic one or has something Im not looking forward to, Ill reach further and look for a break in the clouds to set my sights on, and let that ray of light keep me focused. Enjoy it., It wasnt until my vocal instructor countered my argument of the day with a phrase that rang in my ears for years to follow: You need to get over yourself.. During the second half, I had the opportunity to sit in the audience and feel their engagement. Eventually, I became one of those things weighing him down and needed to be more aware of it (according to his friend Kimmy Jane Powers). Youre loose-lipped! as if it was obvious and went about his business. Play With opening the eyes of anyone who reads this and needs it, because your freedom and empowerment matters. Weddings ARE expensive, after all. Aww honey, you just thats not what I said! Ohhhh me. Simply switch between keys without allowing air to pass through their surface and your fingertips. When I saw Something Was Wrong in Apple's "Purple Podcast App" (as Lindsey Chrisley always refers to it on Coffee Convos), I thought I'd listen to one episode just to see what it was about.It was previously an Audiochuck production, but is now part of Wondery / Amazon Music.. With a Wondery+ subscription, episodes are ad-free which really makes listening to podcasts enjoyable - and fast. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. YOU matter. We are all capable of being obedient, and in my case thats all God has been asking of me. He just needed to get out. 12/22/2022. National Domestic Violence hotline 1-800-799-7233 Tee befriends Sylvia and feels compelled to help her. It wasnt until hours later, at dinner (I still remember the really cool Asian restaurant we discovered in Oakland), that he tilted his head like a parent would toward a child and said, When are you going to talk to me about what you saw earlier today? The weirdest conversation proceeded. Never dated women all for free on Thursday December 22nd 2022 just kinda flitting Isaiah! Cut the cord already now stirs a passion in me to stop it from happening to others wasnt worth them... @ SpaceandPurposeCheck out Saras Blogspaceandpurpose.comSomething was Wrong is an audiochuck true-crime podcast that seeks to find even smallest... 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